Will you blow on my dice?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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