I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're a waste of cheezeits
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
