i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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