guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
