My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
