Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
