Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I haven't been this sober since birth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
