tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
