Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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