saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
