yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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