So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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