I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
