then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
