Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
two words...techno handjob
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
