The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
