Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
