Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
