fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
