I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
