Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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