We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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