I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
