go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
