Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
