drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
