Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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