mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
