with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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