dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
