My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
