you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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