You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have aggressive nipples.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
