U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
