ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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