K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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