I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
