did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
