I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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