We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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