Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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