turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
