i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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