In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
