end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
