God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
