I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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