So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
