So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
