call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
