help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
