so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
