So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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